There's no place like home, not even Heaven
by Tsebi Arkao
Summary: In a Nutshell: Spike has a Meeting with the PTB they do him a favor, Buffy Enlists the LA team as well as all the Scoobies old and new to get Spike Back. And what's this? Buffy's been cooking? She has a Bun in the Oven.
1. Default Chapter

"Buffy!" Spike yelled across the cemetery "Buffy!" He ran to her and caught up with a little effort "Bu..buff.. Buffy." 

"Go away Spike" She said coldly as she continued to walk without looking at him "I told you, I don't want to be near you anymore, I need human contact." 

"But... that's what I'm... trying to tell... you" He panted.

"Go away!" Buffy said sternly

Spike grabbed her arm, she had foolishly forgotten her jacket at the Double Meat Palace, it wasn't exactly T-shirt weather yet, cool skin met warm skin. "Listen to me." Spike pleaded.

Buffy pulled her arm out of his grasp and took a step away from him. Her eyes were wide with shock. "Spike..."

"Yes, Luv?" He said still breathing heavily 

"You're warm." She whispered. He nodded softly. "And breathing." Spike took a step closer.

"And..." he took her hand and held it against his chest. A heavy pounding moved against her hand. Buffy pulled away in fear.

"How?" Buffy's voice betrayed her solid appearance as it quivered. 

"Buffy calm down." Spike said soothingly

"No! Where is Spike, what did you do with him?"

"I iam/i Spike" he said.

"No you aren't you're some kind of shape shifting demon." She said fiercely.

"I am not." He said softly

"Spike is dead, or un-dead. He doesn't breath or have a heartbeat or warmth, you can't be spike." She said as the tears welled up in her eyes.

"I am. I need you to believe me Buffy." He said gently

"Prove it." She said.

"What do you want to know?"

"How long was I gone?"

"Hundred forty-seven days; Hundred forty-eight the day you came back, but that doesn't count does it?" he smiled slightly Buffy gasped

"It iis /iyou." She walked closer to him. "How?" Buffy asked as she touched his chest lightly. "And what's that for?" She asked noticing the basket in his hand for the first time.

"It's dinner." Spike explained with a pleased smile. "It's time to show you the man."

"A picnic?" Buffy asked.

"A picnic." Spikes took her hand and lead her to a large oak tree. He pulled the blanket out of the basket and laid it on the grass. Spike held his hand out to Buffy and helped her sit down. He noticed her shiver. Being the gentleman that he was Spike removed his duster and draped it around her shoulders. She gazed up at him, confused..

"How?" She asked as he took out a bit of chicken and wine and other good yummy things including chocolate covered strawberries. He just smiled as he made her a plate and set the strawberries aside. "How?" She repeated in amazement. Spike sat next to her and smiled as he looked at her.

"It started a year ago..." Buffy cut him off.

"A year!" 

"Yes a year, now do you want to hear it or not?" Spike said teasingly 

"I want to hear it."

"Then behave, and let the man speak." Spike joked.

"The man?" Buffy asked

"Well it's what I am, now. Anyway it started a year ago." Buffy nodded as spike continued his story. "Remember when you're mom died?" Buffy' face went a little pale, as she dropped her eyes and nodded. Spike noticed his lack of tack so he placed a finger under her chin and lifted her head to meet his eyes. He kissed her tenderly, and Buffy kissed him back. It was Spikes first kiss as a human, and it felt marvelous. And what was more, Buffy didn't try to deepen the kiss, she just kissed him back. As much as Spike wanted to stay there he pulled away slowly. Buffy opened her eyes and now it was Spikes turn to be surprised. For a moment love radiated from her eyes, and then they snapped back to attention. 

"You were saying." Buffy said.

"Anyway that night I had a rifle. I'm not sure you if you saw it." He paused.

"No I didn't, couldn't. Were you going to kill me?" 

"Yes, you had killed me, it was only fair. Remember? 'You're beneath me Spike.' " Buffy nodded silently. "But when I got there you were so upset and I just sat there with you. I just sat. I wanted to hold you and make it better for you, but that wouldn't have helped so I did the only thing I could, and sat there. After that I called up Peach... Angel. And asked if he could arrange a meeting for me with The Powers That Be." Buffy looked shocked, but Spike held up a hand silently asking her not to interrupt. "He owed me a big favor, pet. And I called it in. I went to LA and when he asked why I was there I simply told him it was because I love you. He took the news rather well after I convinced him not to stake me, but that took a bit. I had to tell him my plan. After that he took me to the Powers. I'll admit it was a bit terrifying, Pet. I asked if they could make me human again. They were in a mild shock at the idea. They said it was beyond their power, and that they had to ask their boss."

"The Powers have a boss?" Buffy asked. Spike just pointed towards the sky and continued.

"They asked me to come back in 6 months. It felt like an eternity, waiting all that time. But then I went back, and they said that my heart had changed. So, my request was granted, because I changed the very nature of a demon." Buffy's eyes lit up. "But they told me it wouldn't be instantaneous, so I thanked them and left. After you died, I had completely forgotten. And then this morning I woke up, and I was really depressed and began to cry, I couldn't stand that I'd lost you again. And suddenly I realized that the sobbing had tired me out, and I was panting. I couldn't believe it so I raised my fingers to my neck and felt my pulse. Found every pulse I could, and then I ran outside. It was a big risk being daylight and all, and I ran to the nearest store. I bought a mirror. " Spike handed her a little pocket mirror. "I can see me. You can see me. Buffy I'm alive, pet. I'm alive." Buffy's eyes filled with tears.

"Are you still my Spike? Or are you William? Or something in between." 

"I'm still Spike. Only with this." He held her hand over his heart again. "I'm still a blubbering fool who says all the wrong things at the wrong time and I'm still hopelessly in love with you Buffy." He held a strawberry out to her, and she took a bite while he held it.  "So what do you think of the man Buffy?" Buffy just smiled softly and began to put away everything except the wine and strawberries. She tried desperately to blink back the tears, but one slipped down her cheek all the same.

'I have no excuses now.' She thought 'No reason to turn him away, he's alive, and human and powers said his heart had changed surely he has a soul...' She stopped thinking and looked up. "Soul." She said.

"What?" Spike asked.

"Do you have a soul?"

He leaned over and wiped the tear from her cheek as he gazed softly into her eyes. "This is my second chance, Luv. I don't want you to be looking for a way out. The Powers didn't leave anything out. I have a soul and a heart beat and love."

"But you loved me long ago" Buffy said softly

"If I thought that was love it is nothing compared to how I feel now, Buffy. Saying I love you is an understatement." Buffy's eyes dropped and she began to cry.

'There's no way out' She thought to herself. 

"I used to be content with a shag, Buffy. But please let me make love to you. Can I make love to you?" Spike asked softly.

"Here?" Buffy asked. Spike pulled her onto his lap, held her close and stroked her hair.

"What better place, Pet? Under the stars. In front of what is responsible for this chance."

Buffy gave her head a soft nod, and Spike smiled ever so slightly. "Thank you, Luv." He said as he buried his face in her hair. "I love you." 

Buffy couldn't speak; she just lifted her head up and brushed her lips lightly against his own. Spike put on hand on her hip and the other on the back of her neck as he kissed her back. Slowly they undressed each other and then Spike pulled out a second blanket. It was thinner but warm and he put it over them. It was dark under the blanket and Spike moved it down to Buffy's waist. Her breasts glowed slightly in the moonlight. Spike just looked down at her. "God you're gorgeous." He leaned over, lightly licked and nibbled her neck. Buffy moaned softly. Spike peppered soft kisses over her body taking his time, never wanting it to end, treasuring every millisecond. Slowly he slid into her warm welcoming opening.

"Spike..." Buffy softly gasped.

Spike bit his lip gently. "Yes, Luv?" He asked, as he started moving slowly inside her.

"So good." She said quietly as he moved inside her. She slowly thrust her hips towards him. "Oh god spike..." Spike felt her around him pulling and tugging and begging him. He kept the same slow pace. Buffy felt her orgasm coming on and started to shutter. She put her arms around Spikes neck and pulled him down for a passionate kiss as she came whimpering into his mouth. As she tightened around him Spike came inside her. He thrust slowly again and again until he was spent. He laid his head against her chest and panted. "Spike?" Buffy asked. Spike moved to remove himself from her but she wrapped her legs around him "Don't go." They rolled over onto their sides still joined. They kissed each other's lips and faces softly. Spike lightly caressed her hip as she caressed his face. Spike saw it again. Love radiated from her eyes, and the she closed them. 

Neither one of them knew how long it had been when they finally pulled apart and got dressed. Everything was packed up when Spike went to give Buffy another kiss. 

"I guess I'll need and Apartment now huh?" Spike asked. "A crypt really isn't as appealing anymore, too cold." Buffy nodded but the stopped and looked up at him softly. 

"Come live with me Spike." She said.

"What?" He asked shocked.

"Come live with me and Dawn and be a family with us."

Spike just stared, stunned. "I... There's nothing I'd love more for you and I and ''Lil bit to be a family." Buffy smiled and kissed him again. When she pulled away her eyes grew wide in horror. Spike wheeled around and looked at what had caused this reaction. He was too late though. A very disgruntled Xander had already stuck a stake in his chest. 

"NO!" Buffy screamed as she caught Spike in her arms. "Spike?" He looked up at her as she laid him down on the grass.

"This hurts more than I thought it would." He said softly.

"Don't leave me."

"So this is what it's like to die..."

"You're not going to die. Please..." she pleaded. "I love you Spike. I love you I love you I love you."

"If I had to go this would be how I would choose to do it." He said softly. "I love you so much." Love radiated from Buffy's eyes and this time the connection wasn't broken. As his eyes closed, and he died, her eyes and the love in them was the last thing he saw. 

"Spike..." Buffy sobbed as she held him close to her. "Don't leave me. Please, please." She begged. "Please." She whispered but he just remained dead. Buffy laid his body on the ground, and looked up at the forgotten Xander. "You..." Tears streamed down her face. Xander just stood there in shock. Suddenly he dropped the bloody stake and retched as Buffy gathered up Spikes body, the basket, and headed home. 

The sound of thunder woke Buffy. Or was it the queasy feeling in her stomach. She'd been having the same nightmare for a month now. Spike had been gone for two months. But the first month Buffy had just been so exhausted that all her rest was dreamless. But now she awoke from it every day and went and vomited in the bathroom. Xander and she had not been on speaking terms since. All Buffy thought about was how she could bring Spike back, but she remembered what it was like to be pulled out of heaven and so she didn't. If only she knew Spike wanted to get back. Buffy ran into the bathroom and hung her head over the toilet. "Stupid dreams" She sighed as she whipped her mouth and brushed her teeth. Buffy climbed back into bed, and closed her eyes. "I love you Spike." She whispered as she fell back asleep.

"I love you too."

"Spike?" Buffy looked around at a vaguely familiar surrounding. 

"Yes." the voice said and out of a white mist walked spike. Still dressed in black. 

"Spike!" She cried as she ran to him. "Where are we? It's so familiar." 

"We're in heaven Buffy." Spike said as he held her close and stroked her hair. Buffy looked up at him.

"Are you, are..."

"Am I happy?" Spike asked. Buffy nodded. "Yes Buffy I am." She felt her heart sink. 

"You can't help but be happy here. But I'm not content. I have something that I need to finish and I need you to get me out of here." Buffy looked up at him concerned. "I have permission Buffy."

"You mean..."

"Yes, Luv, I'm coming back."

"For how long?"

"Until I'm old and gray, or until the next apocalypse, whichever happens first. He won't tell me." He whispered.

"Why? What do you need to finish?" Buffy asked

"It's very important."

"End of the world again?" Buffy asked. Spike laughed. Oh how she'd missed his laugh.

"No, Luv." Spike placed his hand over her stomach. "My child is going to need me."

"Your...."

"Buffy we don't have much time." Spike said hurriedly. "You have to go to Angel. Tell him everything, don't omit anything."

"But you were buried." Buffy said 

"Under a blank name." Spike said "I will come back as William and Angel has to get everything in order. I'll be a legitimate human Buffy. A semi-normal life." Spike looked back into the mist. 

"Don't go." Buffy pleaded.

"I have to." He kissed her forehead. "I'll be back before our child is born. I promise. The thing you have to tell Angel to bring me back has to do with the Hades Scroll."

"What do I do with it?" She asked.

"I have to go now Buffy." Spike said,  "I love you."

"I love you too." She whispered. Spike kissed her forehead again and walked away into the mist. "Wait," she called. "I still don't know what to do with the scroll."

A faded voice said, "You'll figure it out, Luv..." Just before her eyes opened.

***********************************************************************************************************

Buffy awoke to the sound of birds outside her window, and she smiled. For the first time in two months it was going to be a wonderful day. Buffy climbed out of bed and to the shower.

"Buffy's up." Willow said to Dawn "I hope she's feeling better." She dumped two eggs onto Dawns plate and poured her some orange juice. 

"Yeah" Dawn agreed. "She's been really depressed lately, in a scary, sad, stay-out-of-my-face, kind of way." Dawn took a bite of her eggs. "These are great Will, I appreciate it. I would have made myself something you know, but thanks all the same."

"It was no problem Dawny." Willow said with a smile. "It's nice to be on your good side again." 

"Hey Wills" Xander came in and hugged Willow. "Hi Dawn." He said with a small smile. Dawn glared at it him. After all he did kill spike and Dawn loved Spike like an older brother, no more like a father. Xander's smile faded. "Dawn I..." Dawn cut him off.

"I've lost my appetite Willow, but thanks for the eggs. I'm going to go to school now."

"It's Saturday." Xander mumbled.

"Then I'll just go somewhere that you aren't." She sneered as she stormed out of the door. It slammed shut and Xander sighed.

"She'll get over it." Willow said as she hugged Xander.

Upstairs Buffy let the water cascade around her body and relaxed. This was the first shower in what felt like forever that she wasn't crying. 

"I'm pregnant." She said happily "With Spikes child, and he's coming back. He's coming back soon." She grinned and washed her hair. Soon she was giggling. She couldn't help it. 

About twenty minutes later Willow heard footsteps. Xander looked at her with mild fear. 

"I should go." He said. 

"No, don't." Willow replied. "You have to talk sometime."

"But she'll kill me, literally." Xander pleaded.

"No she won't." Willow reasoned. "She'll forgive you."

"I killed the man, yes the iman/i, she loved Wills! You don't just forgive that. You tend to rip the guilty party to pieces with your bare hands. She'll come down here and her eyes will get wide and her face will twist with rage and then bye bye Xander. No more witty comic relief no more..."

"Hey guys." Buffy said cheerfully. Willow and Xander gaped at her. "Hi Xander." She gave him a big hug. 

"Did I miss something?" Xander asked as he reluctantly hugged Buffy.

"No why? What's wrong?" Buffy asked as she stepped back.

"Willow you didn't to the forgetting thing again did you?" Xander said.

Willow glared. "I did no such thing."

"It's okee Xander. I forgive you." Buffy said.

"You do?" Xander asked. 

"Of course I do. It's going to be a wonderful day. Where's Dawn." Buffy turned to Willow.

"She went outside. I'd bet she's behind the tree." Willow said. "Why?"

"We have to pack. We're going to LA." Buffy said as she walked to the fridge and took out a yogurt.

"WHERE!?" Xander exclaimed. 

"LA, to see Angel." Buffy said off handedly.

"iWhy?/i" Willow asked. "Is this a rebound thing? Because if it is, that's not fair to him."

Buffy looked up in shock. "Of course it's not."

"Then would you mind telling me.. us, what's going on?" Willow asked.

"I'd rather Dawn be present." Buffy said.

"I'll get her." Willow said.

"No I will." Xander said softly. "What should I tell her?"

"Just tell her that I want to talk to her." Buffy said plainly.

"Okee." Xander said as he walked towards the door.

"Buffy?" Willow said "Are you okee? Really okee?"

"Yup. I'm great." Buffy said with a smile.

Xander walked towards the big oak tree in front of the Summers home. He knew Dawn would be there with her head on the ground starring at the cigarette butts Spike left there nearly ever night before he'd died. Sure enough Xander caught a glimpse of Dawns pink shirt. He walked over and kneeled to talk to her.

"Dawn..." Xander said softly "Buffy wants to talk to you." Dawn nodded and got up silently. She wiped the tears from her face and walked towards the house. Xander walked beside her and put a hand on her shoulder. She shrugged it off quickly and walked faster. Dawn opened the door and walked in. She jumped back in shock at the sound of Buffy's laughter. 

"Buffy?" Dawn called.

"We're in the living room Dawn." Buffy called back. "C'mon in. Announcements." Dawn walked into the living room and sat down. Both Willow and Buffy were smiling. 

"What's going on?" Dawn asked.

"I've got good news and better news and great news. Would you like them in that order?" Buffy said.

"Yeah sure." Dawn said.

"I'll just be going" Said Xander who was feeling shunned, and out of place.

"You'll do no such thing. Sit down." Buffy said sternly.

"Buffy if he wants to go let him." Dawn said.

"I'm sure this concerns him too Dawny." Willow said gently. Dawn seceded silently "Xander sit." She said and he did. "Now Buffy what's this all about. I won't pretend that I'm not ecstatic that you're happy again, but I am very confused."

"The good news is that we are going to LA." Buffy said.

"Why?" Dawn asked.

"Please hold all questions." Everyone nodded. "The better news is that I'm pregnant." Willows eyes filled with tears as she hugged Buffy tightly. Buffy hugged her back. Dawn smiled widely, and Xander well Xander fell off the chair.

"You're what?" He asked.

"I'm going to be a aunt." Damn said happily. "It's Spike's right?" She asked.

"I'm pregnant Xander, and yes Dawn it is. Which brings me to the best news." They all held their breath with the exception of Xander who was panting heavily. "Spike's coming back." She said Gleefully.

"What? How?" Willow asked. 

"I had a dream." Buffy said simply.

"A dream?" Willow asked. 

Buffy nodded. "Spike came to me and told me to go to LA and tell Angel every thing. It has to do with the Hades Scrolls, though he didn't tell me what to do with them..."

"The Hades Scrolls contain incantations to condemn souls in the nether world, or to bring back a soul, but you need a fresh body, and no one knows where the original scrolls are." Willow said.

"It doesn't matter." Buffy said. "Spike said I would know what to do with them when the time came, and he promised he'd be back before our child is born."

"What are we waiting for, lets get going." Xander said with a big smile. You could see the relief on his face.

"Yeah." Dawn agreed.

"All right." Buffy said. "Go pack. Be back here as soon as you can Xander."

"All right!" Dawn cried. "LA and no school. Awesome."

"You're beginning spring break in three days Dawn" Buffy said.

"Yes but that's Three days I don't have to go to." She said as she sprinted up the stairs.

"I'll be back really soon." Xander said as he walked out the door.

"Uh Buffy?" Willow said. "I uh... Are you NUTS!" She cried. "A dream, you're going on a dream. And you're pregnant and you have to find a piece of Mythology that has been lost for thousands of years!" 

"Yeah so?" Buffy said.

"Why don't you go back to bed Buffy? You'll feel better when you wake up. You're mind will clear."

"It's never been clearer Will. You don't have to come or even believe me, but it'd mean a lot to me if you did." 

"All right Buffy..." Willow said. "I'll go pack."

***********************************************************************************************************

"I'm Back!" Xander yelled as he walked through the front door. 

"Impressive." Willow said. "It only took you 15 minutes. Buffy is still packing." Willow laughed. "Is Anya coming with you?" 

"Yes but she is also still packing." Xander said with a grin. "She said she'd be here as soon as she could." 

Upstairs Buffy closed her suitcase and lay down on her bed to rest. She hummed and closed her eyes. She could see Spike. 

"Buffy?" 

Buffy looked around. "I must have dozed off." She said as she took in the familiar white surroundings. "Spike?" She called out.

"Yes, Luv." he said as he walked towards her.

"I've missed your voice so much, Spike."

Spike wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. "I'll be back soon, Pet. I promise."

"Spike can't you tell me what I'm to do with the Scroll once I find it?" 

"No, Luv I can't."

"How long until you come back?" Buffy asked

"Not long." Spike replied.

"Why am I here again?"

"You have a few questions to ask me. Don't you, Pet." Buffy nodded. "Then ask them."

"Are you going to be different? I mean, will  you still be Spike?" She asked.

"With a few exceptions, yes."

"Like what?"

"Well, Luv. I'll be human, and I'll still be the same mentally but I'll be strong like I was before when I was still a vampire." Buffy looked up at him in con fusion

"What do you mean you never lost that power." 

"Didn't you notice how slow my reactions were the night I died? " Buffy's eyes dropped, and she nodded. "Pet." Spike lifted her chin and looked at her softly. "Don't think about that night. It was perfect and I was the happiest man alive when I died. And now I'm coming back." He kissed her forehead.

"Any other exceptions?" She asked

"There's a good chance I'll write poetry." Spike said with a smile.

"But you won't be William will you?"

"No love, I can't go back to that again, when I was changed it was forever and I don't just mean as a vampire." I muttered voice came out of the distance. "You have to go now, Luv."

"I don't want to."

"The day you sus out what you do want there will probably be a parade. Seventy-six bloody trombones."  Spike joked. "Any last questions?"

"Do you love me?" Buffy asked

"Always." The voice got louder. "You have to go now, Pet. I love you."

"I love you too Spike." 

"I'll see you in a week or so." A far away voice said as she awoke. 

"A WEEK!!!" Buffy screamed as she sat up. "A week."

"Buffy!" Xander's voice called. "Anya's here. You ready?"

"Yeah." Buffy called. She picked up her bag and carried it down stairs. 

"Buffy." Xander said "You shouldn't be carrying that in your condition." He reached for the bag.

"Xander I have..." Buffy started but he had already taken it in his hand. It fell to the floor and almost took Xander's hand with it. "...Slayer strength." She finished.

"What did you pack? A battle Axe?" Xander asked. 

"Well... Actually, Yeah." Buffy said.

Xander laughed. "Time to go."  

"We got a charter plane." Anya said cheerfully. 

"Princess wouldn't take the normal Plane." Xander said.

"Well The food is awful." Anya said.

"All right guys. Lets get going." Buffy Said.

"No school no school." Dawn sang.

"This is for you Spike." Buffy said softly as she walked out the door.

***********************************************************************************************************

"Well this is it." Buffy said softly. Her heart was pounding as she hit the doorbell. It was about 3 minutes later that a disheveled Cordelia came down stairs dressed in clothes that were clearly on the floor moments before. 

"Buffy!?" She said before embracing her in a warm hug. "Awesome... unexpected and untimely but awesome still."

"Who is it, Honey?" A familiar voice called from up the stairs. 

"It's Buffy!" Cordelia answered. 

"I should get dressed then." The voice responded.

"Definitely." Cordelia yelled back.

"Cordy?" Buffy started. "Was that..."

"Angel? Yeah." Cordy said simply.

"And you were doing activities that needed clothing removal..." Buffy took in.

"Yes... Oh gosh, you didn't know. I hope that's not a problem Buffy, Loving a vampire, I know it's crazy but I do."

Buffy laughed. "Yeah it's crazy, but you aren't pregnant with ones child." Cordy stepped back.

"What!?"

Buffy laughed again. "Now we're even, but the tale is best left 'til Angel is clothed, I don't want to tell it twice. Speak of the Devil." Buffy said as Angel walked down stairs

"Why am I a devil this time?"  He inquired.

"I was referring to your performance in bed." Buffy teased.

"Already?" Angel said with a smile. "So how's things? Where are the rest of the Scoobies?"

"Hotel. Didn't want to impose." Buffy said simply.

"Impose?" Angel asked. "I've got a whole hotel here."

"Oh good." Buffy turned around in the doorway. "C'mon in guys!" She called. Out came Willow and Xander and Dawn and Anya. Willow and Xander carried the bags. "Dawn! Carry your own bag." 

"Yeah yeah." She responded as they filed in.


	2. Preparations

"I'll show you to your rooms."  Cordy said.

"Cool." Dawn exclaimed, "I get my own room right?"

"Of course." Cordy replied with a smile. "And if you hear a baby in the middle of the night don't mind him, Connor tends to want feed at the most ungodly hours." Dawn glanced at Buffy but Buffy shook her head letting her know not to let anything slip. They group walked away and Buffy remained with Angel.

"Buffy?" Buffy looked at Angel. "Where's Spike?" Buffy's eyes dropped.

"Well that's what I'm hear to talk to you about." Buffy said softly. "He's dead."

"Dead? Not just dusted, but Dead." Angel asked. Buffy nodded. "I'm sorry." Angel took Buffy in his arms and hugged her warmly, even for a vampire. "But you seemed so happy."

"I am."

"Why?" He ended the embrace and looked into her eyes. "Did you... you never learned to love him did you? Oh Buffy how could you? He loved you so much, more than I did even and with out a soul to boot, how could you, it' just doesn't compute..." Buffy ended his ramblings.

"I loved him. I still do." Buffy said softly.

"Then how can you be so happy?" Angel asked. They heard footsteps as every one came down the stairs. 

"Dawn and everyone else are going to go out for a bit." Cordy announced. "I offered to go with but they said you wanted to talk, so off they go." She finished as she shooed them outside and closed the door.

"What's up Buffy?" Angel asked.

"You're going to need to sit, and should probably be bound there." Buffy said. 

"I'll sit but no one is tying me up for non-kinky reasons." Angel replied as he sat on the sofa, with Cordy next to him.

"I'll start with what both of you know. Cordy I love Spike, but Spike is dead." Cordelia's eyes opened in shock. "Angel, I'm pregnant with Spikes child." Angel growled loudly but remained seated. 

"I knew you were different." He said thickly "Did he claim you?" 

Buffy revealed her neck. "Does it look like he did?" 

"No."

"All right now down to business..."

"How?" Cordy interrupted.

"He was human." Buffy replied.

"It worked then." Angel growled.

"Yes it did. Now I'm supposed to tell you everything, and omit nothing." Buffy said.

"Say's who?" Angel said almost angrily.

"Spike said. He came to me in a dream twice. You're to help me bring him back. Now..." Buffy related the whole story. 

*****************************************************************************************

"Any questions?" Buffy asked.

"We're supposed to find the Hades Scrolls so you can bring back a dead vampire to be a father to your child?" Angel asked. 

"A dead man, and yes, that's the idea." Buffy replied.

"That's Nuts!" Angel yelled as he jumped up. 

"Angel..." Cordy started, but he interrupted her.

"No it's insane, Cordy, it really is. I mean how do we find them? What do we do with them? Why are we doing this?" He asked her as she put her palms on her temples. "Honey?" Angel asked concerned.

"We'll find them in a grave. We'll know what to do when we find them, and we are doing this to make Buffy as happy as we are." She rambled off.

"How do you know about the grave?" Angel asked. 

"I'm a seer', it's what I do." She said with a look of annoyance.

"What grave though?" Buffy asked. 

"I don't know who's it is, but it is black and has a wolf on it. It's definitely in LA." She said

"It's Bob's grave." Angel said with a look of dismay.

"How do you know?" Buffy asked.

"Bob had deep relations he'd been alive for several millennia. He was immortal under the condition that there was a great war at least once every few hundred years. Bob refused to do his job last a couple months ago when his connector asked him to start WW III. But that's not what's important, he knew the Greek Gods personally." He said 

"And why didn't you mention this before?" Buffy asked trying to contain the anger in her voice. 

"I was hoping I was wrong." He replied. "Buffy... This isn't... It's not legal Buffy. Not spiritually legal."

"Well nether was Xander murdering the man I loved. Neither was Spike becoming a man, and neither is you and Cordelia doing clothing removal things, But I want him back Damn it. He says he has permission and he said that this is important. He told me..." Angel interrupted.

"It was a dream Buffy!" Angel yelled. 

"It was not a dream!" She yelled back. "It was real, or as real as it can be. I was in heaven with him. I knew the feeling of peace. You were so mad that I didn't love him before, and now you're mad that I love him enough to bring him back?"

"Cordy can you go away for a minute?" Angel asked.

"Why?" She asked.

"Please." He said softly.

"All right." Cordelia said softly as she stood up and left. Angel turned to Buffy. 

"You never brought me back." He said softly. "Didn't you love ime/i enough?"

"Angel, think about what you're saying, these are two completely different things." Buffy replied.

"How?" He asked.

"To love me you needed a soul. You couldn't love me without one. Spike changed the very nature of a demon to love me, and then when I wouldn't take that as a reason to love him, he went to the Powers and asked them to make him human. He loved me after I died. He took care of Dawn, and then he was human. He made love to me, and now I am pregnant with his child. When you made love to me... well you remember what happened." Buffy's eyes dropped. But she quickly picked them back up. "Speaking of, why can you now do non-clothing things with Cordelia?"

"I uh... have a permanent soul." He said shyly.

"Well good for you. Do you love her?"

"Of course. I love her so much Buffy. But..." Buffy interrupted

"There are no but's in love Angel." 

"Not what I was buting about." He got up and started pacing the room " I'll always love you in some why Buffy. Do you know what it took to not stake spike when he came and asked me to set up a meeting with the powers so he could be human so you would love him? It took everything."

Buffy stood up and  "Angel you know I feel the same. But our love was different. I was adolescent. The love I have for Spike is deeper, and truer. I know it hurts Angel, but I need him." Buffy said softly as she stood up and looked at him. "I need him."

Angel nodded. "Well what are we waiting for? Lets go rob a grave."

*****************************************************************************************

As Angel and Buffy walked through the graveyard it felt like old times. Stakes out, ready to strike, but the shovels were new. 

Angel stopped in front of a grave with a black headstone. "This is it." He said.

"Lets start digging then." Buffy said.

*****************************************************************************************

The Slayer strength combined with Vampire strength had cleared the dirt off the grave in an hour and a half. It was creepy, opening the coffin. There was no body. But there were the scrolls. Angel helped Buffy out of the grave, and closed the coffin "Thanks Bob." He whispered. 

*****************************************************************************************

Buffy and Angel showed up at the hotel at about 10:00 pm. Dawn had anxiously been awaiting their return. 

"Did you get them?" She cried as soon as they opened the door. 

"Yes Dawn." Said a wearied Buffy. 

"Are we going to bring him back tonight?"

"No Dawn." Buffy said sleepily. 

Dawn's smile faded. "Why not?"

"Because we need to study these scrolls Dawn" Angel said. "Trust me there will be little rest getting."

"Except for you." Buffy said. "Bed Dawn." 

Dawn's eyes opened wide. "I will not go to bed. I am helping bring Spike back, and that's that." 

Buffy opened her mouth to say something but closed it again. "Fine Dawn, I at least need a nap. Willow will you wake me in a few hours?"

"No problem Buffy." Willow said.

"Thanks." She said as she walked up the stairs to her room. "This is going to be a long week." Buffy said to herself. Buffy opened the door to her room took of her jeans and shirt and crawled into bed. She was asleep in moments.

*****************************************************************************************

i"Buffy!" Spike yelled across the cemetery. 

"How... geeze, not this dream again." Buffy said aloud. "It's a memory not a dream, Buffy." She told her self. 

The events replayed themselves again but this time, when Xander went to stake Spike Buffy kicked the stake out of his hand./i

*****************************************************************************************

"Buffy?" Willow called. "Buffy we found something." She said through the door. 

Buffy held back the queasy feeling and said "all right I'll be down in a second." She looked at the clock, it was nearly noon. She smiled to herself. "I have such considerate friends." She said aloud. "I can just see them." She played the scene out in her head.

i"Shouldn't we wake Buffy up?" Xander said.

"No she needs her rest." Angel said. 

"He's right Xander. Pregnant women need to rest after digging up people." Willow said. "Let her sleep."/i

Buffy smiled at her rendition of her friends' conversation as she walked into the bathroom. "I need some tea." She laughed at herself. "I sound like Giles." Her heart sank. "I need to find Giles. He needs to be here for this. He's practically my father." Buffy walked slowly down stairs. Her friends smiled up at her. 

"Can I get you anything Buff?" Xander asked.

"Tea would be good." She replied with a smile and looked at Willow. "And Giles if you can find him." 

Willow nodded. "I'll get him Buffy. You have a telephone Angel?"

"On your left by the sofa." He responded without looking up from his book. "Buffy? These scrolls contain..."

"Incantations to condemn and revive souls, yes I know." Buffy said.

"But it's written in blood." Angel said. 

Buffy's stomach lurched. "How's that tea commin'?" She called.

"It's almost done. How much sugar?" Xander called from the kitchen.

"No sugar a tablespoon of honey if you can find any." She called back.

"All right Buffy. There is one incantation in here that will bring Spike back. We don't need a fresh body, just a lock of his hair." Angel said softly. 

Buffy's eyes brightened. "That I can do." She said as she took a heart-shaped locket off from her neck. "Spike gave this to me on Valentines Day. I put it away in my jewelry box. I took it back out the night he died and looked in it." Here Buffy opened the locket to revel a lock of hair so blonde it was obviously Spikes. "It hasn't left my neck since." She closed it again. "So when can we do this thing?" Xander set her tea right next to her on the table. "Thanks Xander."

"No problem Buff." He said with a smile, and sat next to his fiancé.

"With all these ingredients, which I might add were next to impossible to find when these scrolls were written, It should only be three or four days with my connections." Angel explained. 

Buffy sipped her tea. "All right. That should work. Hey. Whatever happened to the Greek gods anyway?" She asked angel.

"According to Bob they were killed." Angel said.

"Gods? Killed?" Xander said. "How?"

"There was a woman warrior who was trained by the God of War himself. She was given the power to kill gods. The only two she did not kill were the god of war and the goddess of love, but they were only mortal. They eventually became gods again, but no one believed in the due to the growing belief in the one true god. So, with no one to believe in them, they faded out of existence." Angel explained.

"Do they still exist?" Buffy asked.

"Oh yes." Anya said. "I met Ares about two centuries ago. Still very good looking, but not much power."

"Well that's good to hear Anya." Angel said. "Because on of the ingredients we need is a hair from his head. Where is he these days?"

"Well..." Anya thought, "He's living with his sister, in San Diego, I think." 

"That's good too, we need something from her too." Angle said.

"Back the truck up." Xander exclaimed. "An, why didn't you tell me about Ares?"

"I didn't want to intimidate you with all my former lovers." She replied.

Xander's eyes opened wide. "You didn't say you were lovers!"

"Well... I was a demon, what was I supposed to do, just wait my whole immortal life for Giles to make me human, and save myself for you?" Anya said simply.

"She's got a point, Xand." Angel said.

"Yeah I guess so." He muttered.

"Want to go have sex?" Anya asked Xander.

"Do I ever." Xander said. Buffy and Angel looked at them, Xander blushed. "Uh... we're... Bye." He said as he ran up the stairs with his fiancé.

"All right. So those were the two most important ingredients." Angel said as if nothing had happened. "I can get the rest fairly easily." 

"All right." Buffy said as she sipped her tea. 

Willow walked in all bouncy like. "Giles is on his way." She said.

"You didn't tell him did you?" Buffy asked.

"Over the phone? Gosh no. A shock like that would kill a man his age if there were no one there to help him out of it. No I told him that we had a very difficult spell to do and since I had given up magic that I was wondering if he could do me a favor. Told him we were in LA visiting Angel. He'll be here bye tomorrow morning at the latest."

Buffy broke out into a grin. "I hope he stays this time." She said.

"Well I'll go out and collect these ingredients." Angel said. "Cordy took Connor to the park. So she'll be back soon. I might not be back before Giles. Buffy if you're up to it, I'd like you, Giles, and I to go collect said ingredients from said gods." Buffy nodded. "All right then. Buffy you rest, Willow you know your job."

"Make sure Buffy rests." Willow said.

"Right." Angel said as he grabbed his coat. "Tell Cordelia where I went, and I'll be back as soon as possible." He smiled at Buffy and she walked up to him. She took his hand and placed it over her stomach. 

"Thank you, from both of us." She said softly. 

Angle smiled softly and kissed Buffy's forehead. "I'll be back as soon as I can." he said. Then he opened the door and walked out. Buffy closed it behind him.

*****************************************************************************************

Buffy went upstairs reluctantly. She really wanted to wait for Giles but Willow wouldn't have it. So Buffy went into the bathroom and turned the shower on. She stayed under the water until it started to turn cold, and then turned it off. Buffy grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her. After becoming less moist she put her PJ's on, and climbed into bed.

*****************************************************************************************

i"I guess I'll need and Apartment now huh?" Spike asked. "A crypt really isn't as appealing anymore, too cold." Buffy nodded but then stopped and looked up at him softly. 

"Come live with me Spike." She said.

"What?" He asked shocked.

"Come live with me and Dawn and be a family with us."

Spike just stared, stunned. "I... There's nothing I'd love more for you and I and ''Lil bit to be a family." Buffy smiled and kissed him again. When she pulled away her eyes grew wide in horror. Spike turned around but Buffy pushed him to the ground and punched Xander in the face./i

*****************************************************************************************

"Buffy?" A sweet male voice called to her. Buffy opened her eyes. The sun was shining, and someone was sitting on the edge of her bed. A familiar someone. Who took off his glasses to clean them.

"Giles?" Buffy asked. 

"Good morning Buffy." Giles said as he brushed some hair from her face. 

Buffy's eyes came into focus, and there he was the same as before. "Giles!"  She exclaimed with a smile. She sat up and wrapped him in the most fearsome hug. "Thank you for coming." She whispered.

"Willow says you have something to tell me." Giles said as their embrace ended.

"First, do you need anything? Hungry? Thirsty? Dirty?" Buffy asked. 

Giles laughed. "No Buffy I'm fine, thank you. Now... what is this all about? Really about. I knew Willow's excuse wasn't true."

"Well it kind of is. We have to perform a spell out of the Hades Scrolls to bring someone back to life." Buffy said. 

"Perhaps you should start from the beginning." He said. 

"Is your heart ok?" Buffy asked.

"Yes it's fine."

"All right then, it all started about a year ago..." And so Buffy related all the events to her surrogate father. About an hour later Giles pulled Buffy into a tight embrace. 

"Buffy..." He said softly.

"I'm sorry Giles."

"Why are you sorry?" He asked. "I'm so proud of you."

"There's one more thing." Buffy said nervously as she pulled back and looked into his eyes. "I'm pregnant with Spikes child."

"Human?"

"Completely."

"Congratulations." He said with a smile.

"So we're good?" Buffy asked.

"We're great." Giles glanced at the clock. "It's 12:30 want some lunch? Or do you need two lunches now." 

Buffy slapped his arm. "One lunch sounds great."

*****************************************************************************************

Buffy and Giles went to lunch and talked. Buffy thought it was the best she'd felt since right before Spike died. It was just like he'd never left.

"Giles? Are you going to stay this time?" Buffy asked as they sat at the little diner.

Giles looked in her eyes and thought carefully before answering her. "Yes Buffy I think I will. You've done all this on your own, and I want to be around while this child is being brought up. Even normal people have some help from a parent figure when a child is born."

A tear ran down Buffy's cheek.

*****************************************************************************************

"We're back!" Buffy called. 

"Good, we have to leave, inow/i." Angel said.

"Why?" Giles asked.

"Why have to get the two ingredients from the gods of balance before it's too late." Angel said while he put his coat on hurriedly.

"The gods of what?" Buffy asked. 

"Just common I'll explain on the way." Angel said as he pushed them out the door.

Buffy and Giles followed Angel to his car and climbed in. Buffy didn't really note how he was all non-flamey in the plain sunlight. As Angel pulled away from the hotel he began to explain.

"When I came back you two were out, so I did a little more research, can never do too much you know? Anya had found Ares current residence and he was in fact living with his sister who owns a strip club. After they could no longer be Greek gods a few of their old followers had decided to make a new path of beliefs to include them. These followers were obviously immortal. The called them the gods of balance, because of War and Love. Well things got... interesting, see the two are still very much Greek, and the kind of had a kid together, gross yes, but gods can do that. Well it turns out that their child is prophesied to bring them into a mortal state on the seventy-third moon of the four thousandth year, That's by their calendar not ours, being as we need the hair of an immortal Ares and a eyelash from a immortal Aphrodite, we need to get there by to night because tomorrow morning, they're mortal." Angel explained hurriedly.

"We'll never make it." Giles said.

"Oh yes we will." Angel said as he drove off the road and we're not talking to the side of the road here, we're talking iabove/i the road. Angel had been going fairly fast and now the car was flying. iliterally/i"We'll be there by sundown."

"How?" Buffy asked. 

"Never mind that Buffy. We've got other things we need to talk about. What day was you're child conceived?"

"The same day Spike died."

"What day was that?"

"May thirteenth." Buffy said "Why?"

"Shit! I knew it. Are you sure you're pregnant Buffy?" Angel said worriedly

"Yes, unless morning sickness and weight gain and fatigue and heavenly bodies telling me so means I'm inot/i pregnant. "Buffy said.

"This raises two problems. The first as I'm sure Giles knows, is that this spell requires the pure blood of supernaturally powerful being, we can't use Buffy..."

"Willow." Giles said simply. "I know she won't do spells anymore but she is still a very powerful witch. The most powerful I have ever seen."

"All right problem one solved what's the next one?" Buffy asked.

"You're child too is part of a prophecy." Angel said. "A big part. It is written that the child of the newly souled and the slayer would one day bring about the end to all that is, was, and will ever be bad on this earth."

"What's so bad about that?" Buffy asked smiling and rubbing her tummy.

"Without exception, Buffy." Buffy's arms closed protectively around her abdomen. "You're child will not feel mercy or pity. It will not be reasoned out of anything. It cannot see the heart, and therefore cannot see if the person meant to do something or not. Buffy accidents will be punished as if they were outright murder. If some one accidentally runs into someone on a flight of stairs and the person falls and dies. The person who ran into them will be murdered for an accident. Buffy, this was not ordained by the powers." Angel said softly "It was to be used as a tool of the God of War."

"But he will be human." Buffy said.

"See now that is the great problem isn't it?" Giles said. "In the story of Oedipus the parents sent their child away to stop a prophecy, but that actually ended up causing it. If the gods of balance know this story they will have kept their child at home supposedly stopping the prophecy."

"Augh!" Buffy screamed as she grabbed her head. A searing pain ripped through her head and then she saw Angel and Spike together fighting a child with black wings. When it's wings were removed it turned into a regular human boy. "Oh!" 

"What is it Buffy?" Angel asked.

"I saw something." She said shakily.

"But you don't have visions." Giles said. 

"It's possible her child does." Angel said. "what did you see?"

"You and Spike were fighting a child with black wings, and when you cut them off it became a normal kid."

"How could Spike and I be fighting. He's on another plane." Angel asked.

"That's what I don't get." Buffy said. "But at least now we know what we have to do."

"We do?" Angel said.

"Well yeah." said Buffy simply. "Listen the child with wings is most often used in conjunction with cupid, Aphrodite's son, and the color black was most often associated with the god of war, therefore it would follow that this would be the gods of balance's child." Angel and Giles stared at her in amazement. "Wow, I never realized World Lit. would pay off."

*****************************************************************************************

The sunset from the air had been breath taking, but now it was gone and the sky, at least, was dark. The city was never dark. 

Angel pointed at a house decorated in an interesting fashion. One half pink and one half black. "That's got to be it." He said.

The car slowed down and slopped gently, landing in the driveway of the home. The three climbed out and snuck through the door, which was foolishly left open. But then again who would have expected them to ifly/i over the massive gates that guarded the home? The decor of the room was the same as that of outside. As the passed the living room they noticed that on chair was pink and on was black, every room was like that. Room after room of pink and black blurred, until it was just a dark maroon, to their eyes. Then theirs eyes focused on a room with the door open, a bed room with a pink bed, and a black bed, pushed together. The man on the black side had just muttered a name in his sleep. The three walked in and there in a child-sized bed sat a child holding a dagger. Wings protruded from it's back and a gleam shone in it's eyes. The name on the headboard said 'Gabriel'. Buffy smiled and tucked the name away in her memory. She didn't have time to think about it though. The child on the bed had suddenly sprung in to the air, as it was halfway to it's parents bed, a figure in black held the kid still. "Easy there tiger." it said.

"Spike!" Buffy said with a smile. 

"No time for that pet. Get what you need and get out. Peaches, help me out here. Will ya?" Spike said. 

Angel took leap at the kid as Buffy and Giles ran to the gods of balance. 

"Why aren't they waking up?" Buffy asked. 

"A little effect of the planes interchanging. Don't worry about it." Giles said.

Buffy went to the former God of War and pulled out a piece of his hair. He looked so peaceful and still so venomous. Giles walked toward the former goddess of love why Buffy caught his eye and shook her head. She couldn't stand to see one of those lashes plucked. She motioned to the make-up table, and said "eye lash curler." Giles seemed to get it because he walked over and picked up the curler. But he shook his head. There were no lashes. "I'll get it." Buffy walked to the other side of the bed and gazed at her face. She was a vision. And there on her cheek was an eyelash. Buffy lightly picked the lash off the goddess' cheek and placed the hair and it in a sandwich bag. She looked to Giles but he was starting at the battle, when Buffy looked over,  she saw a wing of shimmering black fall tot he floor, followed by a second. The 'Spike' figure carried the child back to it's bed and lay it down.  He tucked it in and kissed it's head. Then he turned to Angel. 

"Thanks Peach... Angel. Be careful with that dagger. I don't even know where the kid got it." Then he turned to Buffy. "Our child is saved." He smiled. "Soon." he whispered as he faded away. 

The child wasn't crying, and the parents weren't stirring. But it was time to go and Buffy knew it. Spike was gone, and so the effect of the former gods of balance being asleep was also gone. They crept out of the house silently, and then to the car. Angel drove it down the long gravel driveway until they were going fast enough to fly again. Once they were back in the air, Angel spoke up.

"What did he mean 'Our child is saved.'" He asked angrily.

Buffy's eyes dropped and she looked at her stomach. "It follows doesn't it?" she asked. "If my child was to be a tool of the God of War, the making that very gods child a mortal should fix everything."

"Well no Buffy it doesn't!" Angel yelled.

"Let me see the dagger." She said softly still not looking at him.

"What?" Angel asked.

"Let her see the dagger." Giles said 

"Fine!" Angel spat as he put the dagger in her hand. 

Buffy held the dagger in one hand and her head in the other, she gritted her teeth but did not cry out. Then she looked at Giles. "What's Hynes Blood?" She asked.

Giles eyes opened wide. "Hynes Blood could kill a god when it the Greek gods were powerful, I don't know what it would do now."

"I do." Buffy said "When you used this to cut of that child's wing, Angel, it killed the god part of that child, but since the child was of two weak gods, the only way for it to be god at all was to have both the parents powers stored in it. And since you killed the god part of the child..." Giles finished.

"you killed the gods."

"Exactly." She said.

"Buffy how do you know all this?" Giles asked. "When I left you wouldn't even pick up a book."

"Well Giles." Buffy said. "I kinda got into a thing this week about wanting the man I love back, and that extra mile didn't seem so extra anymore. Will and I researched while Angel got the other stuff yesterday. As soon as I found out about The Hades Scrolls I read almost everything in Angels huge library about the Greek gods."

"And the Hynes Blood?" Angel asked.

"Leave it to my child to find a way to tell me that's what did it." Buffy said. "Can I keep this dagger Angel?"

Angel made a face but just sighed. "Yes of course."

"Are we ready now? To do the spell I mean." Buffy asked.

"Yes, we've got it all. we'll work the kinks out tomorrow, make sure we say all the words right, and then... you should have Spike back." Angel said softly.

"Why does that bother you so much?" Buffy asked. 

"Because, Buffy, he'll be able to give you all the things I wanted to, but couldn't." Angel replied. 

"Angel you have a family. You have Cordelia and Connor. Leave us in the past where we belong." Buffy said softly. No one said anything from then on, and Buffy fell asleep in the car on the way home.

*****************************************************************************************

i"Come live with me and Dawn and be a family with us."

Spike just stared, stunned. "I... There's nothing I'd love more for you and I and ''Lil bit to be a family." Buffy smiled and kissed him again. And then there was Xander. Buffy pushed Spike down and kicked Xander in the face. Then she picked up the stake and cut his arm with it./i

*****************************************************************************************


	3. Reunited

The sun was just coming up, and they had just arrived at the hotel. Again Angel did not run inside to escape the maturing sunlight. But walked over to the other side of the car, opened the door and shook Giles awake. He then opened Buffy's door and carried her inside. Angel walked slowly as he carried her up to her bed. He smiled at her as he tucked her in and kissed her forehead. "Be happy Buffy." He said softly.

*****************************************************************************************

"Don't worry mate, she will be." Spikes voice said.

"Spike! " Buffy said with a smile. He walked to her and placed a hand on her stomach. 

"You know you're going about this the wrong way, Luv." He said softly.

"What? How?" Buffy asked.

"I can't tell you more than you know. And you know you're going about this wrong. Don't you?" Buffy nodded. "You'll figure it out. You have one more day, Luv. I love you."

"What do I do?" She asked.

"I can't tell you." He said softly. he looked back into the mist. "I have to go now. Just one more day, Pet. One more day." His British accent faded out.

*****************************************************************************************

Buffy woke and whispered "Every night I save you." His voice rang in Buffy's ears. "One more day." She muttered as she climbed out of bed and into the shower. She made the water as hot as could stand and sat down in the tub. The water flowed over her cleaning her body of it's stains. In her hand she held the dagger from last night. The dark red blood, so dark that it was almost black, was being washed away, and with it the Hynes Blood. And for a moment she wanted to stick it in her chest and end her pain and go to be with Spike forever, but she knew she couldn't do that. It would be one thing if she was just killing herself, but committing suicide while she held this child within her body was just as bad as abortion, if not worse. It wasn't that Buffy was thinking of abortion as a horrible crime, but that this is her child, and Spikes, and she owed it to his memory to keep it alive... Buffy's eyes shot to attention. "His memory?" she said out loud. "Spike isn't a memory, He's real!" She stood up. "And he'll be with me again after tonight." Buffy finished her shower and cleaned the blade of the dagger more delicately then her own body. She admired it's beauty. The blade's soft yet dangerous curves. Designed just like a good weapon should be, perfectly balanced. Buffy turned the water off and got dressed. The dagger was always in her line of sight, a beautiful obstacle she was determined to overcome before tonight. "Time to go downstairs." Buffy said to her self. And that's exactly what she did.

"Morning." Dawn said cheerfully. 

"Morning." Buffy replied. She waved with the dagger.

"Whoa what did I do?" Dawn asked. 

Buffy looked at the dagger. "Not for you." She said simply.

"I'd hate to be the guy that iis/i for." Xander said.

"Me too." Angel said as he walked in. "Still carrying that thing around?" 

Buffy nodded. "You don't have a sheath for it by any chance do you?"

Angel smiled. "I'm sure I could find one. Now down to business. Buffy. We've got all we need, we can do it tonight if you're ready. Giles is doing the spell." 

Buffy nodded silently. Dawn walked over to her. "What's wrong? Spikes coming back, and then we'll all be a family, and you're all not jumping for joy." Buffy shrugged. "Well damn it Buffy this is crap!"

"Dawn watch your mouth." Giles chided.

"I will not. All she does is brood about how she misses him and now he's coming back and she just act's all unhappy." Dawn said.

"That's it I've heard..." Buffy cut him off

"No, Giles, she's right. Let her be." Buffy said. She got up quietly and walked to the stairs. "I'm going back to sleep."

"What is up with her?" Xander asked. "It was like zombie Buffy or something."

Angel sighed and looked solemnly at the stairs. "She's remembering what it's like to be pulled out of heaven. Wouldn't be surprised if she changed her mind about the whole thing."

*****************************************************************************************

Buffy undressed and climbed into bed. Sleep over took her quickly but she first remembered that she had left her dagger downstairs. Soon she was dreaming.

i"Buffy!" Spike yelled across the cemetery. 

"Not again" She cried in her sleep. "I can't take it. I can't watch the man I love die again. Take me."

The events replayed themselves again but this time, when Xander went to stake Spike Buffy jumped in front of Spike and sacrificed herself. Spike held her and sobbed. And some how even dream Buffy knew she'd done the wrong thing./i

But soon the bright white light was around her and Spike was standing there, not even speaking to her, but crying. She looked up at him, confused. He didn't reach out to hold her, and he didn't speak, he just cried, and soon Buffy was crying too. She felt his tears as her own, and only when she had cried all her tears did Spike hold her face in his hands and wipe them away. 

"You died." He said softly. Buffy just nodded. "And our child." She sniffed and nodded again. "Why?"

"So you wouldn't." She whispered.

"But I'm not dead, Pet. I'm alive here." He held his hand over her heart.

"That's not good enough." She whispered still more softly.

"I'll be alive on earth in approximately 4 hours." He said with a soft smile.

"Why?" Buffy asked.

"To love you, and our child."

"There must be something else."

"Oh there is but He made it clear to me that you and my child are what is important, Buffy. He and I we've had some time to talk, and what he says is that the family is the important thing in life. This is my last chance Buffy. I'm doing it right. 'Tis by grace that I have been saved, and not by works. I don't deserve this chance, but I'm getting it just the same, because I need to teach our child and you, now that I know it. I have to pass it on." Spike gently kissed her forehead. "I love you Buffy. And I'll see you in 4 hours." He turned and walked away. 

Buffy's eyes opened, and she smiled. The cloak said 8:00 PM at midnight he would return. Somewhere in the back of her mind she thought about how she'd been asleep for nearly 10 hours, but then her eyes fell on the dagger. 

"Be gone. In the name of all that is good and just, under heaven and earth." She said sternly to the dagger, and then she picked it up. The feeling of despair that she had felt before when she held it was gone. "Thank you." She whispered. She got dressed and went down stairs where preparations had already begun.

"Buffy." Cordy said with a sigh of relief. "I'm glad you rested. From what Angel has been telling me, this requires the most effort from you."

"It won't hurt my child will it?" Buffy asked worriedly. 

Giles walked up. "No. It won't." He said softly "But lets get to it?" Buffy nodded and let Giles lead her into the lobby. The tone of the lobby had changed. It was covered with Black tapestries and there was a circle of sand on the floor. Candles were everywhere and on a pedestal in the center of the circle there was a large bowl. Buffy approached it carefully ignoring everyone in the room. It was full of blood, lots and lots of blood. Buffy felt her stomach lurch.

" Where did you get all this blood?" she asked shakily.

"I pulled a few strings." Angel said without looking at her. In fact he was looking anywhere ibut/i at her.

"What animal did it come from?" Buffy asked.

"It doesn't matter Buffy, we need to do this now."

"NO! Why does this feel wrong." Buffy asked.

"Because it is Buffy, I told you. It's spiritually wrong."

"Whose blood!?" She repeated. Dawn stepped forward.

"Mine." She said as she held out her arm. There was a small puncture wound on the inside of her elbow.

"And mine." Willow exposed the same wound.

"And mine" Anya held her arm out.

"And mine." Cordelia came forward.

"And mine." Xander ripped the bandage off his arm.

"And mine." Giles showed his wound.

"And mine." Angel said.

"We'd do anything for you Buffy." Giles said. Tears welled in Buffy's eyes but she held them back.

"Let's begin." Was all the response she gave.

*****************************************************************************************

The group sat around the circle and held their respective candles.  One Red held by Angel. One Yellow held by Dawn. One Blue held by Anya. One Purple held by Xander. One Green held by Cordy. One Orange held by Willow. One White held by Buffy. Giles stood in the center over the bowl and holding the scroll.

"Hades fair and just, hear our plea. A life was taken, a life is missed, and here we have our sacrifice. From the immortal Gods, and the loved ones of the grief stricken. We give you the essence of the war god formally so great in power," Giles put in the piece of Ares hair. "and we give you the beauty of the love goddess formally so pure." He then placed in Aphrodite's eyelash. "Ka lesso Masento Copratiouses." The candles ignited. "From the loved ones we have blood. The blood of the Drinker," Angel came forward and placed three droops of the dark red wax onto the cool blood. "Blood of the Light," Dawn came forward and did the same with the yellow wax. "Blood of the Calm," Anya dripped three blue wax drops. "Blood of the Royal," Xander's purple candle added to the mix. "Blood of the Earth," Cordy did her part. "Blood of the igneous." Willow added hers. "Blood of the Demon," Buffy noticed the black candle by Giles for the first time as he dripped his wax in. "and love of the pure." Giles signaled Buffy and she let 3 drops of white wax fall into the bowl. She watched as Giles chanted, "Mi Lia So Me Ti Nah Ko Me" over and over. The candle drippings mixed into black against the blood and into the shape of a skull. Her white drops punctuated the eyes and one spread to be a mouth. 

"No..." Buffy murmured softly.  All the candles except Giles and hers went out. And he continued chanting. "No." She said louder. The chant continued and the skull began to glow. "NO!" She screamed as she wrenched the scroll from Giles hand and held it over her candle. She watched it burn and then when it was only a little square, she put it in the bowl. The lights came back on, and Dawn was staring at her.

"Why?" Dawn asked tears welling in her eyes. "Why?"

"It was wrong Dawny. You know it, and I know it." Buffy looked around, everyone except for Dawn and herself were unconscious. "Just look what it did." 

"But Spike, now he'll never, it was our only chance." Dawn sobbed as she fell to her knees. Buffy turned away, unable to look at Dawns pain. Then a warm embrace held Dawn and pet her hair. 

"It's all right Niblit." The thick British accent soothed. Buffy spun around and stood in shock. But the shock was gone as soon as she saw the tender scene before her. "Your sis did the right thing. I knew she would." Dawn looked up into Spikes blue eyes.

"Spike?" She wrapped her arms around him and held him so tight he had to choke out,

"Air 'Lil bit, I need air." Dawn loosened her grip but never let go. 

"Sorry." She whispered.

" 's all right 'bit." Spike kisses her cheek.

"How?" was all Dawn could say.

"Your sis did what she was supposed to. Cut it a little too close for my liking, but doesn't matter now." Spike explained.

"Why's everyone else out?" Dawn asked as she pulled away from Spikes embrace.

"I asked for it, wanted this to be a family moment." Spike replied with a fatherly smile. "Speaking of," He looked at Buffy. " you've been taking good care of my baby haven't ya?" Buffy smiled softly.

"The best." Se replied.

"C'mere." Spike commanded, Buffy was more than happy to comply. She walked over and sat beside him, at which point he put his arm around her, and kissed her softly. "I love you, Pet."

"I love you too." She whispered as she rested her forehead against his.

"And I love you." Spike said to Dawn.

"Ditto." Dawn said. A groan resounded from Giles and then Xander. 

"Uh oh... party's over." Spike said as he motioned for them to get up. Soon everyone was squirming and rubbing their eyes and repeatedly asking what happened. Angel was the first to come to his senses. Game face on, he walked towards Spike and sniffed him. Spike suppressed his laughter. 

"Hello Peaches." spike said. Angel growled.

"You don't smell like a vampire." He said.

"Nope." Spike replied.

"But," Angel reached pack his arm and punched at Spike. Spike quickly moved his head to the right, dodging the blow and then caught Angels are and flipped him over, just as if he was still a vampire. "Yeah, yup, yeah, that's definitely vamp strength." He moaned. Cordy ran over to him and his Game face disappeared. 

"Angel's being over protective again." She sighed and helped him up. "Hello Spike. Not going to be killing this time around I hope."

"Only the baddies." Spike said with a smile. "It's good to see you prom queen." 

"Ditto." She replied.

"He doesn't seem normal either." Spike said to Cordy. "What's up?"

"Permanent soul." Buffy and Cordelia said in unison.

"No it's more than that prom queen. Now tell me the truth." Spike stared her in her eyes.

"He's kinda like you only with fangs. He can walk in the sunlight and stuff." She spat out hurriedly. Spike nodded.

"Thought as much. Peaches, you got it good, don't blow it again." Spike said. Angel growled again and Cordy elbowed him in the gut.

"He's right and you know it." Cordy said. "Now please behave or I'll start treating you as if your soul were not so permanent again." Angel's eyes widened.

"You wouldn't." He said half-heartedly. 

"Oh I would." Cordelia replied. Spike looked at Buffy and pulled her close. He buried his head in her hair and closed his eyes. Buffy rested her head on his chest and ignored the sounds from Angel. Cordy's eyes lit up.

"Oh... Oh, Duh! You two would want to be alone." Cordelia tugged on Angels sleeve. He tugged back. "Come on." She insisted.

"No! I won't... I mean this isn't... I can't believe I helped this come about!" Angel stormed out of the room. Cordelia looked helplessly after him.

"I'll talk to him. You two rest. Dawn and Giles and Willow and Xander and Anya can find something to do. Dawn there's Aspirin in the kitchen cabinet over to stove. They may need it." She informed with a small smile before walking away.

"She's right, go have some alone time." Dawn said as she walked over to the others. "you might want to go quickly before they wake up and figure out you're back and Giles wants to have a fatherly talk with Spike." Dawn laughed as Spike's eyes opened wide.

"Lets go." He told Buffy as he took her hand and pulled her towards the stairs. "I really don't want a 'What are  your intentions' talk right now." They ran up the stairs and into Buffy's room. 

"Well what iare/i your intentions." She asked as she closed and locked the door. Spiked eyed her hungrily.

"Well for starters," He grabbed her and pulled her close before dipping her backwards and kissing her passionately. "And then," Spike picked Buffy up and laid her down on the bed. Buffy reached up and circled her arms around Spikes neck, pulling him down on top of her and kissing him.

"I've missed you so much." She said after she pulled away. Her hands traveled to his belt. iDamn the powers that be,/iShe thought as she fumbled with his belt buckle. iWhy'd they have to clothe him./i Spike chuckled softly.

"Slow down, Luv." He took her hands away and kissed her gently. "Lets do this right." He then got up and walked away. "Luminous!" At his word hundreds of candles lit the room. Buffy stared at him in awe. "I learned a few new tricks." He smiled slyly. "Now where was I?" He traveled back to her and kissed down her neck. "Right about here?" He asked as he lay between her legs. Buffy moaned softly. "Shh, Luv. All in good time." His hands deftly unbuttoned her shirt while he kissed every new inch of bare skin. Slowly, her clothes fell away and he stood beside the bed. There she lay in all her glory. Lips slightly parted, skin flushed, breasts glowing in the light of the flames. Spike couldn't help but stare and Buffy, though very flattered, was growing impatient. She stood up and began unbuttoning his shirt. Then his belt buckle and his pants. Soon he too was naked and it was her turn to stare. She didn't get a very long look though because Spike soon had her on the bed and had begun kissing her deeply, though still lovingly. His hands traveled down the length of her sides as her hands reached up and caressed his back. Slowly and gently he massaged her breast, lightly rubbing his thumb over her nipple. Buffy moaned softly in response. Spike then moved his lips down to her neck causing her moan to increase in volume. as he did this his hand made its way to her entrance, and she bit her lip as his fingers brushed over her nub.

"Oh... Spike..." She whispered huskily. Spike said nothing but gently dipped one finger into her to test her. She was so wet he couldn't believe it, and he placed a second finger inside her causing her to moan loudly. "Spike please." He moved a third finger in her and gently pushed in and out. "Spike, I want you..." He continued to move his fingers only a moment longer before positioning himself at her entrance. He thrust in slowly. Once in he stayed there unmoving. He then pulled out and thrust in again, a little harder this time. "God, Spike." He continued to thrust very slowly, savoring every moment. 

For what seemed like hours he continued to move with in her. her ever little whimper set him on fire. "Spike, I can't take much more." She whimpered again. "I need you now." Spike complied and sped up ever so slightly, but he thrust harder and harder until she was screaming his name. Oh how he'd missed that. Her nails dug into his skin as she came. And as her walls clenched around him and shutters racked her body, he came, spilling his seed deep into her. 

They lay like that, entwined and panting for long minutes until Spike moved. Buffy wrapped her legs around him and pulled him back. 

"Don't leave." She pleaded.

"No worries, Luv." Spike whispered as he flipped her over and on top of him. They fell asleep that way.

*****************************************************************************************

i"I guess I'll need and Apartment now huh?" Spike asked. "A crypt really isn't as appealing anymore, too cold." Buffy nodded but then stopped and looked up at him softly. 

"Come live with me Spike." She said.

"What?" He asked shocked.

"Come live with me and Dawn and be a family with us."

Spike just stared, stunned. "I... There's nothing I'd love more for you and I and ''Lil bit to be a family." Buffy smiled and kissed him again. When she pulled away her eyes grew wide in horror. Spike turned around and Buffy screamed in horror./i

Buffy sat straight up in the hotel bed, clutching the blankets to her chest. The room was full of sunlight, but she was alone. Buffy couldn't even speak, she just collapsed on the bed, curled into a ball and wept. There was no Spike, there was no future, there was just her and this baby and a lot of pain. Pain... Buffy screamed as a stabbing pain shot through her abdomen. Just then a door burst open.

"What's wrong." A worried British voice asked. Buffy's vision went dark but she fought to stay conscious. "What's wrong?" The voice repeated more loudly than before. Buffy felt a hand on her cheek

"My... here." She took the hand and placed it on her slightly bulging stomach. "Pain."

"My God, the baby." The voice said. Shock swept over him. "Bloody hell !" Without bothering to dress Buffy he picked her up and wrapped her in the bed sheet. "PEACHES, GLINDA, RED, WHELP, SOMEBODY HELP!" He stormed down the stairs, as Buffy's eyes cracked opened.

"Spike?" She asked faintly. "What's going on?"

"Does it hurt love?" Spike asked as he continued looking for the inhabitants of the hotel.

"I'm dying aren't I? That's why you're here. I woke up and it was all a dream, and now I'm dying." Buffy began to cry again. "My baby it's dying inside me I can feel it." She held on to spike as tightly as possible (which wasn't much at all) and just kept repeating it. "It's dying, it's dying."

"No it's not, Love. Our baby is going to be just fine, and so are you." It was just as Spike reached the last step that he noticed the blood. All of the Scoobies and the LA gang that sat around the table spun to look at the two. Angel jumped up like someone had kicked him in the ass and stormed over to them.

"What did you do to her?" He demanded.

"I didn't do anything." Spike replied over Buffy's weak repetitions of 'It's dying.' "I found her like this." Tara and Willow rushed over. Tara having arrived overnight at the news of Spikes return now approached Buffy.

"How far along is she?" Tara asked. 

"I don't know I've been dead." Spike said frantically.

"Somewhere between 2 and 3 months." Dawn said from her place the table. 

"What's wrong with her Glinda?" Spike asked. Tears filled his eyes as Buffy kept muttering.

"It's dying. My baby is dying. iWe're/i dying."

"She keeps saying that, Glinda, what's wrong?" Tara placed her hands on Buffy's stomach. Her eyes fluttered, but Buffy didn't stop her chant. Tara opened her eyes and looked at Spike sadly. "What's happening?"

"Your child is punishing her, Spike. She tells me that Buffy lost faith." Tara choked out. "They're both going to die. These powers are beyond my control. I can't help them. I'm so sorry."

"No..." Spike felt week in the knees and fell to the floor. He set Buffy down  and put her head in his lap. Her chant was barely a whisper now and getting weaker by the second. "No! I refuse to lie down and take this. Buffy wake up!" He shook her none-to-gently but her eyes remained closed. "Wake Up!" He slapped her across her face. Angel growled and lunged at Spike but Cordelia's hand on his arm held him there. And when he looked at her in confusion, she simply shook her head, and leaned into his embrace as she cried. "Buffy!" Spike screamed over and over again "Buffy, Buffy, Buffy." his last one was so weak that only the dead could have heard it. "I'm alive, don't leave me." and his head fell against her chest as he wept forcefully. Angel walked over to check Buffy's pulse, but Spike grabbed his hand when it was and inch from her skin. "Don't touch her." Angel backed away. Buffy was barely breathing and no technology could have saved her.

The room went dark, and then Spike and Buffy were alone. it was pitch, except for the light shimmering above them. It descended, and lifted Buffy from Spikes arms. Spike stared in awe unable to anything but weep. 

"From two will come one, and one shall become two." The voice said mysteriously. The glow brightened as it held Buffy and began to enter her. "Of the mother, of the Father." Spike heard a new sound, almost like a soft heartbeat. "Of the Child, a woman new, a man of love."  Then the heartbeat split, there were two.

"What does that mean?" Spike dared to ask.

"Touch them." The voice commanded gently. Spike rose, placing one hand on Buffy's heart and one on her stomach. "The light and the dark balanced to perfection, peace and love. Light always wins in the end." The Glow placed Buffy back into Spikes arms and then it was all gone. He was in the hotel again, with Buffy in his arms and the Scoobies standing all around.

"What happened?" Xander spoke first. "Now we see you. Now we don't. Now we see you again?" Slowly Buffy's arms encircled Spikes neck. "What in the...?" Xander stepped back, even though he wasn't close to the pair.

"Spike?"  Buffy's eyes fluttered open.

"I'm here, Love, I'm here." he held her close.

"Put me down." Buffy said.

"Never."

"Just lay me on the couch. iPlease/i?" He couldn't resist her wishes. When he'd done as she'd asked, she took his hand and placed it on her abdomen "Feel them Spike." Tears welled in her eyes. "I will never doubt again." He kissed her forehead.

"There will never be a need." he replied. Dawn stepped up, and Spike pulled her down in an embrace.

"Can I?" She asked. Buffy smiled happily and nodded. Dawn placed her hand next to Spikes and smiled.

"Um... I hate to ruin this tender moment," Xander broke in. Spike cut him off.

"Then don't." 

*****************************************************************************************


End file.
